Phone Calls, Social Anxiety, Journalism & Me

Sometimes I don't know what's wrong with me.

Sometime's I physically cannot pick up the phone and make the damn call.

My heart starts pounding, my palms start sweating and I can't stop thinking about messing up. What if they're mean? What if I say something stupid? What if I freeze up and run out of questions before I get anything good?

It was enough to make me pace around the room for at least 30 minutes before a phone call. Thankfully I'm passed most of my phone-call-induced social anxiety and I've done enough at this point to not stress out too much, but sometimes one call will be enough to push me all the way back to the beginning, pacing the floor and shaking my hands to get rid of the anxious energy building within me.

Thinking about it still brings me some shame. What kind of journalist is afraid to talk to other people?

There's honestly a lot of reasons I could point to: my youth, lack of expertise, fear of judgement or that I'm not good enough (especially as a young female).

But honestly, I know that most of the interview anxiety I feel comes with no reasoning or explanation. I know deep down that nothing is going to go wrong. The person on the other end of the phone can't even see me, and it's unlikely for someone to be rude for no reason.

So WHY do phone calls seem so nerve-wracking at times?

I can trace the anxiety back to my early high school years.